I’ve had quite the up and down experiences lately.
B and I have discussed moving in together in August when my lease is up. It’s pretty much a done deal, except until yesterday there had been no discussion of the l-word. I kind of felt like it was an important thing to happen before an even bigger step which is moving in together. I knew I definitely felt it so I brought it up when we went to visit these waterfalls near my apt. It did not go as I had hoped. B was scared and didn’t really tell me much and then starting walking down the river. I couldn’t find him so sat there waiting for 20 minutes thinking that he must be upset. He comes back, clueless, to find me on the verge of tears. We had a long and awkward drive home where he feels bad about me being upset, but is stubborn and won’t really say why he is afraid to say it. We got back to my apt and sat out on my balcony for a while. He asked if I wanted to talk about it and I basically said that if he had the feelings (which he said he did) then I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just say it. He said he was nervous because he had been hurt before, and by labeling things, it complicates them and makes his chances of being hurt even higher. We discussed for a while, and eventually he hugged me and told me that he fell in love with me the first day that we met
It was so sweet, but I almost felt bittersweet because I had to push it so much. I guess one shouldn’t go into an experience with high hopes when you can’t control things.
Anywho, things are good now although he hasn’t really said it since we exchanged after he told me when he fell in love with me.
So now I’m annoyed at his best friend’s gf. B loves hanging out with this couple, and I’m not the biggest fan. They both smoke a lot of pot, and this girl and I don’t have much in common. However, they want to get a place with B and he’s thinking a two family. So I decided I’d try my best to like her and keep an open mind. We all went to a wedding together two weeks ago. B and this girl’s bf were in the wedding. At the rehearsal, I made friends with another groomsman’s gf A. We talked about what we were doing in between the wedding and reception and said that we should hang out. Well, when it came down to it, she hung out with B’s best friend’s girl, T. I hope it’s not getting too complicated. Today I’m on facebook and A wrote on T’s wall “I had so much fun hanging out with you otherwise I would have been stuck with proper” I know girls can be nuts, but that has to be me they are talking about. So much to me trying to be nice. I’m going to have to hang out with this T biotch all the time…and it’s nice to know she is talking shit about me behind my back. ALSO, I brought A and her bf home after the wedding and chatted with them the whole way and was really nice to them (especially since they were stranded in West Haven and had to get to Naugatuck). UGH. I’m so frustrated.
Had to vent…sorry if it bores you!